Quotable Me

Last week someone told me they were going to put something I wrote in the “Favorite Quotations” part of their Facebook profile. “You’ll be right there between Rumi and Wayne Dyer!” enthused this FB-buddy.

Who doesn’t like to be quoted? Not I.

Then, two days ago, I thought, “Hey: I know! I’ll try Twittering again (I tried last year, and kind of hated it)—only this time I’ll make the whole point of my tweets to be Totally Quotable Quotes!” So between then and now I put up the best 140-character quotes I could think of when I wasn’t pounding my face against a table at Starbucks as a means of avoiding some insanely boring editing work I was doing.

The resultant pithy pontifications are below. If you like any of them—by all means, quote away! Thus can you do your part to help me maintain my ongoing delusion that I’m Someone With An Interesting Mind. (Oh, and yes, you can safely ascribe these lines to me. I mention that only because just today four people wrote asking about the source of these quotes. So … yes: them be me. In fact, if you’re a regular reader of this blog you’ll probably recognize some of this stuff.)

So here’s This Week’s Big Quote Round-Up. (Note that I’ve italicized the quotes in order to make them look statlier stateliar statlyer fancier.)

People sometimes wonder if God has sense of humor. Two words prove that he does: Dung beetle.

Evaluating a potential mate? Watch how he/she treats the waiter. If they don’t treat everyone with respect, they can’t really respect you.

Would-be writers: the thought must come first, and then the words necessary to do that thought justice. Words can only serve thoughts, not create them.

If you’re wondering whether or not you’re really in love, you’re not.

If you’re looking for God, look around yourself right now. There he is!

Bringing your rational mind to an understanding of God is like bringing cement shoes to your sky diving lesson.

“Forgiving” isn’t about letting go of anything. It’s about neutralizing your emotions by achieving an understanding of their origin.

Few people are less trustworthy than a “spiritual leader” whose personal finances are bound to their public reputation for moral rectitude.

And … that’s it for those two days.

You can join me on Twitter (and so get my 140-character non-quotable burblings) here.

My Facebook Fan Page is here. If you haven’t already,  join it—and then please tell everyone you know to do the same. Because the hard, cruel fact of the business I’m in is that the more “fans” I have, the more I can stop taking writing jobs that force me to hurt my face at Starbucks.

My regular Facebook page is here. If we’re not already, let’s be FBF’s: Facebook Friends Forever!