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I don’t have many problems with Facebook. Since it implemented the Friends List setting, I can be friends with a range of people from close pals, to acquaintances, to family without thinking twice. I have three such lists — one for close friends, one for acquaintances and one for family — for those occasions. Close friends are people I have shared more than just eye-contact with and have access to everything. They know my politics, my religious thoughts, my pictures, my statuses, etc. Acquaintances are people that I’ve politely accepted Friendship Requests from but don’t plan on getting too chummy with. They still have access to my statues and pictures, but personal stuff like religion, politics, work history, etc. is all private. Family includes members of my family (aunts, uncles, etc.) that I want to be Facebook friends with in name only. They cannot see anything on my account except for my birthday, email and postal address. I keep it this way because my most of my family is on the opposite side of the spectrum politically as well as religiously and I want to avoid more religious/political debates with them. That’s not saying all of my family members have a restricted setting; my brother and cousins are actually in my Close Friends list and have access to more information.
These three tiers of privacy that I’ve created come with a drawback: they are contingent on Facebook keeping their interface consistent which I know it not to be. My friends now see my other friends, and that bothers me. I don’t like that I can’t have individual privacy settings per user, but I’ve made do with the Friends Lists. I’ve also been careful of what I’ve posted on Facebook too: I don’t put anything remotely passive-aggressive or attention-grabbing. If I have to think longer than ten seconds about whether or not I should put something as my status, I don’t do it. As far as pictures go, I don’t care too much about the few “drunk pics” here and there. I’m above the legal age and I don’t care that my friends know that I drink and sometimes to excess. Though I’m comfortable with Facebook, I don’t know if my friends implement or are even aware of the privacy settings. Facebook does an excellent job of making your privacy as difficult as possible to obtain.
What about younger people? I’m twenty-five, married, and educated: the burden of privacy lies on me. Since Facebook opened up their sign-ups to everyone everywhere, I’ve seen a meteoric rise in people under the age of 18 signing up for Facebook. A friend of mine with a 14-year-old daughter had an interesting approach to his daughter’s Facebook privacy: if she wants to keep her account, she must be friends with him, her aunts/uncles, and her grandparents. That way, she won’t even be tempted to post something private. He can see her friends and knows from whom she accepts friendship requests. I thought this was a great idea — rather than forbid his children from using a service, he allows it with restrictions. It might not be comfortable for her, but it is a great way for a parent to keep an eye on what their children do online.
Of course there are people I will never accept Friendship requests from (beside the obvious). I won’t accept Friendship requests from anyone from church. Much like my family, I’m not always sure who shares my politics or religious beliefs at church so I avoid conflict in the first place. The only exception to this rule is my priest, who I came to know outside of church first. I also won’t accept Friendship requests from people I’ll be working with. Again, I don’t know who shares my religious/political views but also I don’t want to become friends with co-workers. I want a completely separate home life and work-life.
(Really, does all privacy boil down to religion and politics?)
Remember: Facebook doesn’t consider us to be its users — we are the product. The advertisers are its users. I have so much trouble explaining this to my friends who WHARGARBLE at every change in layout, policy, or privacy. Facebook does NOT care that you joined “1,000,000+ Strong Against the Newest Layout Change!”. If it did, it would have caved in and changed it back the first time. Because of this, do not be upset when it changes its privacy settings again — and it will, it is just a matter of time. There are other social networking sites, such as Plaxo and LinkedIn, that do a much better job with privacy than Facebook. However, neither are as popular as Facebook and probably won’t get a boost in use until Facebook does something really stupid (like opening it up completely).
Which it might. You never know.
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