dear you,
i like to think i’m a cultured sort of person, like if someone asked me what i did in my spare time i’d say reading fucking satre books and creating great works of art or something. but it’s not really true, i mean, i do those things sometimes, but mostly i spend my time like my sims character.
i was playing sims 3 on my iphone, and made this character called nina or something. basically she was the town bike. she also nearly died from no food or sleep. however she was being very social. this is sorta how i spend my days. but lately, you know, im sick of being the town bike. in fact, i never really liked it that much anyway. i thought id start blogging so i can keep track of my thoughts and boys and mind and if i am, where im going wrong.
fuck fuck fuck, got an email from my lawyer. i have to call him. and my mobile is going off. its optus again. its not my mobile. its my dads. my sim card is in it. my mobile won’t charge. i can’t do anything about it. dad gets shitty about me using his mobile. dad gets shitty about everything. he has, as the family shrink/s puts it, a history of anger management issues.
fuck being broke! fuck being single! fuck writing this blog no one will read. can’t find my fucking lawyers number.
i miss shoplifting. i’m soooo nervous about my court case! nervous! nervous. google lawyers number. room too messy, dont know where i put his contact card. fml.
i don’t want to get drunk or have sex anymore. but i’m seeing russel tonight, and we WILL fuck. have a bottle of jack in my bedroom. DO NOT BRUSH MY TEETH WITH IT. i hate you kesha. i hate you.
its because ive already fucked him, and he called me up and asked me to come over to his place tonight which is empty. and he doesn’t want me to meet his mother. yeah, im definitely just a fuck. apparently he never brings girls home, and his mum would freak. well, he didn’t have any condoms in his bedroom… read: excuse to do it unprotected. or not? god, i dont even trust men anymore.
got to go to scummy box hill tafe to meet up with friend then wait for russel to call so i can go to his awesome awesome house in canterbury. canterbury!!! his house is totally awesome boyfriend material, like a house whod i like a boyfriend to have. russell definitely not boyfriend, but has a house like one, so am getting somewhere perhaps. fucking optus is still texting me.
oh – why his house is awesome – good books/mags/walls… fuck! cause it looks ‘cultured’. why do i care? look, i dont want to date a stupid boy. ive done that before. its horrible. i hate it. i hate that i hate it. i hate that i have to break up with them and tell them its me, not you. its me, not you. its actually me. you can’t help it if youre stupid and senseless (enough to fall for me, when i won’t feel the same way). but whyyyyyyy.
im going on facebook too much! and my bedroom is a mess. what is wrong with me!!!
oh my god! this random indian guy called neelu sharma has been posting facebook videos that im tagged in as his statuses. fuck, so creeped out. REMOVE FROM FRIENDS.
shit, am late for late lunch date. be back soon. x
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